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Never. I’ve spent so much of my life hung up on this word. It has governed everything that I have done and not done up to this point in my life. Such a small word has held so much sway over everything that I’ve done, everything that I’ve become. “I’ll NEVER do this”, “I’ll NEVER be that”, “I’ll NEVER have anything”. I’ve spent so much time beating myself down with nevers that never is exactly what I became. I took myself apart, ripped everything away and left myself in tiny bits and pieces scattered on the floor with no hope of helping myself. There is hope though. This year has been the year of self resurection for me, 2008 is my year…the year of the Britten. Everything I’ve ever said I’m going to do, I’m God damn well going to do it. Maybe I’m behind. Maybe I’ll forever be playing catch up with the things that have passed me by, but at least I am here. Maybe it took me longer to get where so many people have gotten to effortlessly, but at least I have clawed my way to a place where I can stand on my own two feet and see above all the ‘never’s that I surrounded myself with.
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